No Baked Deserts: Cookies, Brownies, Cake, Cupcakes...and the like.

- This excludes muffins, and granola bars that are baked as a breakfast food with my health issues in mind.

No Candy! This does not include mints, gum, or dark chocolate.

- That’s ok, I don’t eat it much anyway, it’s the candy at work, (the chocolate I can’t avoid)

The above declaration excludes birthdays and the day of a Holiday. For instance, candy may be eaten ON Halloween, but not the day before, and not the day after. Baked goods and candy may be eaten ON Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day, but not the days before and after. Thanksgiving pie may be eaten ON Thanksgiving and so forth.

My favorite tradition is putting ornaments on the Christmas tree. I have so many ornaments; one for every year of my life basically. Each one a memento that reflects something significant in my life or something pretty and sparkly that my mother knew I would love. I am drawn to anything bright and sparkly; kind of like a fish is drawn to light or a cat drawn to a string. I can not fight the beckoning of glitter or cut glass. I'm surprised I don't own more jewelry! My Grandmother recently gave me ornaments that her and my Grandfather had bought for their very first Christmas tree. The ornaments are over 50 years old. I was thinking that I should photograph and log my ornaments, Charmander's too. I can pass them onto my grandchildren and they will know all of the stories attached to the ornaments. They can pass the collection down and share them with their grandchildren; kind of a family heir loom. I wonder if that would last. How far down the line would they make it?

I love colored lights, and my tree has tons of them. I think last year we put 11 strands of regular lights on the tree, and three strands of large bulbs on the tree. It truly is captivating! All the ornaments are illuminated and easy to see in the colored lights of the tree. Each one glows, sparkles, shimmers, or does all three!  It’s just mesmerizing; lots of tiny red bows, red and silver garland, and a little styrofoam angel tree topper. Our angel has tin foil wings and a pipe cleaner halo. Charlie made it when he was three, and I've put it on the top of the tree every year since then. This year we attempted to change things up a bit and put Ma's angel on top of our tree and it attempted suicide three times. It's been institutionalized to the TV stand where it is being provided a stable foundation where it can balance it's own weight. What was she thinking when she bought that thing?!

I love getting together with my family on Christmas Eve! It's a tradition I've been involved in since I was a tiny girl. We'd pack up and visit Grandma's on my Dad's side of the family and then trek on over to my Mom's sister's house to conclude the evening. My Grandfather built their house over forty years ago; it's a small house, which made it cozy, personal, and warm. The Christmas count down began at Grandma's and we agonized over the wait for our gift exchange; little hands and feet anxiously picking up and touching bows, cards, and ornaments; shrills of excitement and laughter in all our voices. Three little girls wound up with a spirit ready to explode and eyes that couldn't accurately gauge the amount of joy that bubbled over. Each one of us was ready to tear into a gift as soon as someone announced the first syllable that it was ok to open them.  Grandma's house always smelled of traditional Christmas dinner, and her desert table consisted of Polish and German cookies. Grandma always stashed away cheese kolatchkies for me; she knew they were my favorite. Actually Grandma still makes and hides cheese kolatchkies for me.

My Aunt's house was always the exact opposite! The lights that decorated the outside of her house caused traffic to stop and gawk. We'd play in the street and walk around examining their Christmas Light Presentation in awe. Inside, the house was crammed with people; I had six cousins. The noise level and anticipation as it grew later and later always amplified the Christmas chaos. Kids ran around animated and alive with Christmas madness while the adults ate and drank merrily. Christmas music played loud and we received hour by hour Santa updates over the radio. We'd squeal with delight as the radio announcers would give Santa's location in real time. After each announcement we'd split up, running rampant to relay the information to every adult within our vision. There were so many of us at my Aunts, that we always ended up in a sea of wrapping paper after the gift exchange. Garbage bag after garbage bag was needed to pick up the scraps of Christmas paper torn apart in a frenzy. Actually, during the exchange, we'd hoard paper and ball it up. Some of us even going as far as to sit on it to prevent someone from stealing precious ammunition. After the last present was opened, it was all out war. Every man, woman, and child for themselves! Wadded up paper would fly like artillary for about five minutes. Paper in the face, paper in the butt, paper in the ears, paper in the back of the head. Ruthless paper fights that produced so much laughter and countless smiles. At eleven PM we endured torture; no one left Aunt Cindy’s before mid-night. That last hour was pure torment as we suffered from Christmas Eve Exhaustion and Santa Fever. I know for a fact that this was the only night of the year that my cousins voluntarily sent themselves off to bed. We however, had to begged our Mom and Dad to take us home until we could beg no more. The evening finally rendering us dead weight at the trunk of the tree; asleep in our little Christmas dresses and tights. Our parents pack and go was always a blur, I don't remember the good byes or the Merry Christmas's all those Christmas Eve's because I was always sound asleep. 

Now I enjoy opening presents with Charmander on Christmas morning and relaxing with him throughout the day. We watch Christmas movies, play with our new toys and gadgets and just enjoy each others company. I don't think we even get out of our pajamas. We normally fall back asleep in the same pajama's we woke up in. We throw a breakfast casserole in the oven and make a pizza for dinner.

This year is going to be different. I don't know why, but it doesn't feel as it normally does. Ma isn't going to be at Aunt Cindy's, Dad might come over Christmas morning, and Sarah is gone. I don't get to see her on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. We won't get to see Danny either! Well, maybe we'll see him, he comes around some times. It's odd now that they're split up. I kind of miss the pair of them. They were the cookies that went with the coffee in our family; sweet and full of surprises. Despite any problems they had together, it was just right.

I guess as I get older I see the old traditions of my childhood coming slowly to an end. My family gets older, and life takes us all down different road. Traditions, they don’t necessarily make it do they? They fade and are buried with time, only existing in our memories and photos.

My favorite tradition is putting ornaments on the Christmas tree. I have so many ornaments; one for every year of my life basically. Each one a memento that reflects something significant in my life or something pretty and sparkly that my mother knew I would love. I am drawn to anything bright and sparkly; kind of like a fish is drawn to light or a cat drawn to a string. I can not fight the beckoning of glitter or cut glass. I'm surprised I don't own more jewelry! My Grandmother recently gave me ornaments that her and my Grandfather had bought for their very first Christmas tree. The ornaments are over 50 years old. I was thinking that I should photograph and log my ornaments, Charmander's too. I can pass them onto my grandchildren and they will know all of the stories attached to the ornaments. They can pass the collection down and share them with their grandchildren; kind of a family heir loom. I wonder if that would last. How far down the line would they make it?

I love colored lights, and my tree has tons of them. I think last year we put 11 strands of regular lights on the tree, and three strands of large bulbs on the tree. It truly is captivating! All the ornaments are illuminated and easy to see in the colored lights of the tree. Each one glows, sparkles, shimmers, or does all three!  It’s just mesmerizing; lots of tiny red bows, red and silver garland, and a little styrofoam angel tree topper. Our angel has tin foil wings and a pipe cleaner halo. Charlie made it when he was three, and I've put it on the top of the tree every year since then. This year we attempted to change things up a bit and put Ma's angel on top of our tree and it attempted suicide three times. It's been institutionalized to the TV stand where it is being provided a stable foundation where it can balance it's own weight. What was she thinking when she bought that thing?!

I love getting together with my family on Christmas Eve! It's a tradition I've been involved in since I was a tiny girl. We'd pack up and visit Grandma's on my Dad's side of the family and then trek on over to my Mom's sister's house to conclude the evening. My Grandfather built their house over forty years ago; it's a small house, which made it cozy, personal, and warm. The Christmas count down began at Grandma's and we agonized over the wait for our gift exchange; little hands and feet anxiously picking up and touching bows, cards, and ornaments; shrills of excitement and laughter in all our voices. Three little girls wound up with a spirit ready to explode and eyes that couldn't accurately gauge the amount of joy that bubbled over. Each one of us was ready to tear into a gift as soon as someone announced the first syllable that it was ok to open them.  Grandma's house always smelled of traditional Christmas dinner, and her desert table consisted of Polish and German cookies. Grandma always stashed away cheese kolatchkies for me; she knew they were my favorite. Actually Grandma still makes and hides cheese kolatchkies for me.

My Aunt's house was always the exact opposite! The lights that decorated the outside of her house caused traffic to stop and gawk. We'd play in the street and walk around examining their Christmas Light Presentation in awe. Inside, the house was crammed with people; I had six cousins. The noise level and anticipation as it grew later and later always amplified the Christmas chaos. Kids ran around animated and alive with Christmas madness while the adults ate and drank merrily. Christmas music played loud and we received hour by hour Santa updates over the radio. We'd squeal with delight as the radio announcers would give Santa's location in real time. After each announcement we'd split up, running rampant to relay the information to every adult within our vision. There were so many of us at my Aunts, that we always ended up in a sea of wrapping paper after the gift exchange. Garbage bag after garbage bag was needed to pick up the scraps of Christmas paper torn apart in a frenzy. Actually, during the exchange, we'd hoard paper and ball it up. Some of us even going as far as to sit on it to prevent someone from stealing precious ammunition. After the last present was opened, it was all out war. Every man, woman, and child for themselves! Wadded up paper would fly like artillary for about five minutes. Paper in the face, paper in the butt, paper in the ears, paper in the back of the head. Ruthless paper fights that produced so much laughter and countless smiles. At eleven PM we endured torture; no one left Aunt Cindy’s before mid-night. That last hour was pure torment as we suffered from Christmas Eve Exhaustion and Santa Fever. I know for a fact that this was the only night of the year that my cousins voluntarily sent themselves off to bed. We however, had to begged our Mom and Dad to take us home until we could beg no more. The evening finally rendering us dead weight at the trunk of the tree; asleep in our little Christmas dresses and tights. Our parents pack and go was always a blur, I don't remember the good byes or the Merry Christmas's all those Christmas Eve's because I was always sound asleep. 

Now I enjoy opening presents with Charmander on Christmas morning and relaxing with him throughout the day. We watch Christmas movies, play with our new toys and gadgets and just enjoy each others company. I don't think we even get out of our pajamas. We normally fall back asleep in the same pajama's we woke up in. We throw a breakfast casserole in the oven and make a pizza for dinner.

This year is going to be different. I don't know why, but it doesn't feel as it normally does. Ma isn't going to be at Aunt Cindy's, Dad might come over Christmas morning, and Sarah is gone. I don't get to see her on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. We won't get to see Danny either! Well, maybe we'll see him, he comes around some times. It's odd now that they're split up. I kind of miss the pair of them. They were the cookies that went with the coffee in our family; sweet and full of surprises. Despite any problems they had together, it was just right.

I guess as I get older I see the old traditions of my childhood coming slowly to an end. My family gets older, and life takes us all down different road. Traditions, they don’t necessarily make it do they? They fade and are buried with time, only existing in our memories and photos.

Who needs a fortune cookie or their daily horoscope? I know what my day is going to be like when I dunk my cookies in my tea. If I loose it, and it sinks to the bottom of the mug in a sugary cookie mush it’ll be a bad day. If every cookie I dunk is the perfect wetness, and I loose not one to the tea, then it’ll be a good day!

Mmmm...spiced cookies and green tea.

Lust = intense or unrestrained sexual craving; overwhelming desire or craving; intense eagerness or enthusiasm; pleasure; relish; to have an intense or obsessive desire, especially one that is sexual.

Lust is a raw word; it has a Neanderthal connotation linked to it. It isn’t a word that promotes purity and honor. Lust is a word that provokes shame or embarrassment to some but deeply arouses another.

Lust suggests that one who is overcome by it has no control over their thoughts or desires.

Matthew 5:27-29  (Straight out of the mouth of Jesus; no one can claim this is Old Testament and doesn’t apply to today!)

 27"You have heard that it was said 'Do not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

Romans 1 is a long chapter, instead of writing it out I highlighted the beginning sentence of each paragraph under the heading of God’s Wrath against mankind. For more in depth scripture, please consult your NIV Bible. While there is mention of sexual impurity here, the implication is that man knows God and out right rebels against him. Man does not care to follow the laws implemented by God and they re-write those laws in order to chase their own desires. This is a clear warning to me that if I denounce God’s will in my life, I will be handed over to my own depravity and sin. Every sin I deliberately consider acting on, or dabble with, has the ability to suck me in and take over my life.  No matter how strong I think I am, there’s no denying that I need His guidance, Word, strength to resist temptation, and forgiveness.

Romans 1:

 18The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts.

Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.

 Lord guard my mind with Your Word; do not let me dwell on the physical desires between myself and my significant other. For my actions follow my thoughts and desires; may my only desire be to honor you Lord. Protect my heart and mind, Lord give me wisdom and patience to wait for marriage to enjoy the wonderful gift You designed for me and the person you have chose for me to spend the rest of my life with.

 God gave me free will, the ability to be attracted to the opposite sex, and a desire to make the person I love and marry feel good. The Holy Spirit gives me the power to understand God’s word. If I ignore God’s Law and the conviction of the Holy Spirit while acting prematurely on my sexual desires, than I am subject to God’s wrath. God clearly gives me an example of what He has done in the past and will do now. He’s not beating around the bush. Through the example laid out in Romans, He is showing me he will give me over to my sin. He lets me make my own decisions, but in the end, I’ll most likely face learning a very hard lesson if I make the wrong choice. His forgiveness and salvation are always on my side, but my consequences are the result of free will.

I’ve experienced pain in four major ways because I chose in the past not to follow his commands. The fist being that I am raising a son on my own. The guilt of single parenting is enormous at times. The surmountable statistics and challenges I face as a single mother and that my son faces as a fatherless child can be overwhelming. When God put his laws about sex and controlling lust into place, it was because people like me would find themselves in this very same situation. The second consequence was contracting a virus that has the ability to cause cervical cancer; if the virus turned cancerous, my son could be an orphan. Again, God new promiscuity causes all sorts of problems. The third was a second unplanned pregnancy. How this one tested my spirit. The pain in giving a child up for adoption is a pain that never fully goes away. It stays with you. My seven year old son harbors a lot of pain and resentment towards me in not having his brother around. Although he was only two at the time, he’s aware that his brother is supposed to live with him, just likes his friends siblings do. The fourth, a broken heart when I realized I was giving myself to someone I could never have. The connection between us was so strong that it made our separation excruciating and I often felt lonely. The fifth painful experience I dealt with was not due to my own rebellion but a family member’s. My family was scared, devastated, and grieved for a long time after finding out that my uncle had advanced stages of HIV.

Now tell me that God doesn’t give us over to our consequences! I’m the perfect example. Sure, some may say that I was stupid, childish, and irresponsible, that I got what I deserved. Some may say that their relationship with their significant other is strong enough to beat the odds, that they are smart enough not to end up in the situations I did, all the while still being sexually active. My question is, do you really want to challenge the God who wiped out the entire earth because of man’s self righteous way of thinking? I’d advise you not to.

Now the wonderful news in all of this was that Christ died for me. God extended his forgiveness to me and I believe with all of my heart that despite the wrong choices I’ve made in my rebellion, I’ve been forgiven and saved. I had to learn the hard way. I’ve have to live with the distress and pain of taking my life into my own hands instead of submitting to God. The wonderful thing is though, by giving my life back over to Him, admitting that he is in control, I have hope, peace, and joy in my life now. I know it pleases God when I honor him. Despite my imperfection, and the knowledge that I will sin again, I believe God sees inside my heart and knows that the last thing I want to do is crucify Christ again.

He wants the same for you! Don’t ignore the tug of the Holy Spirit on your heart. Reach out to him, admit your mistakes, accept his forgiveness, and pray that he gives you the knowledge and power to develop a strong relationship with Him through prayer and his Word.

Thank you Lord for your forgiveness, love, and the gift of strength I need to heal and move on. Without you God I could get through nothing. Praise be to you Lord. May this journey of growth and change never end!

Colossians 3

Rules for Holy Living

 1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things; for you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.


Luke 8:13

Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away.

Ezekiel 33:31

My people come to you, as they usually do, and sit before you to listen to your words, but they do not put them into practice. With their mouths they express devotion, but their hearts are greedy for unjust gain.